(Leaving this here because it sounds a lot better than anything I've tried to type today.)
"Nobody's memory is perfect or complete. We jumble things up. We lose track of time. We are in one place... then another and it all feels like one long, inescapable moment. So, what does it mean? What do we take away? Which pieces will haunt us? Hurt us? End us? Inspire us? It's just like my mother used to say, the carousel never stops turning. You can't get off." - Meredith Grey
Meredith Grey is right, as usual. The carousel never stops turning, and you can't get off, and I'm really tired of chasing the same thoughts round to the same conclusion. But that's life, and even though it doesn't seem like it, the carousel does take you somewhere new in the end.
I do wish though, that it didn't feel so much like my story is all wrapped up, neat and tidy, and complete. I wish it didn't feel like it revolved around one single plot that has already run its course. My head knows I'm wrong to feel this way, but my heart hasn't quite caught up. Even now.