Thursday, April 19, 2012

Notes from My Email Hacker

Recently an old email account of mine was compromised.  It took me hours to unlock the account, and when I finally managed it I found my "sent" folder full of insane emails to everyone in my address book. (This might include some of you.  If so, sorry!)  While it was annoying to hear that my friends and family were spammed, I have to say it was entertaining going through the messages.  They are completely ridiculous.  So ridiculous, in fact, that I thought I'd share a few with you guys.  Some of them are made to look like quotes, but I'm about 99% positive they were made up by an idiot.  Original punctuation, spelling and grammar is included:

  • "Packardsays, in a low voice:All ready--shove off!I couldnt hardly hang on to the shutters, I was so weak."  (c) quinton addy
  • That was to keep witches off. keneth visszatrek
  • It was apicture of a young woman in a long white gown, standing on the rail of abridge all ready to jump off, with her hair all down her back, andlooking up to the moon, with the tears running down her face, and she hadtwo arms folded across her breast, and two arms stretched out in front,and two more reaching up towards the moon--and the idea was to see whichpair would look best, and then scratch out all the other arms; but, as Iwas saying, she died before she got her mind made up, and now they keptthis picture over the head of the bed in her room, and every time herbirthday come they hung flowers on it. leiann wincel
  • "Well, anyway, maybe youd better tell some of the neighbors." (c) honey wyndell
  • there wouldnt a been no Son of Saint Louis,ascend to heaven! wrote down in HIS biography; no, sir, wed a whoopedhim over the BORDER--thats what wed a done with HIM--and done it justas slick as nothing at all, too. vashae aethelmaere
  • But he said I didnt need it to get outof prison with; theres where the difference was." (c) malcolm visszapattant
  • She was a bigone, and she was coming in a hurry, too, looking like a black cloud withrows of glow-worms around it; but all of a sudden she bulged out, big andscary, with a long row of wide-open furnace doors shining like red-hotteeth, and her monstrous bows and guards hanging right over us. natalyn winslowe
  • I see Id got to invent a bar, or forget the name of theone we got aground on--or--Now I struck an idea, and fetched it out:It warnt the grounding--that didnt keep us back but a little. irwin wyligby
  • She was smiling all over so she couldhardly stand--and says:Its YOU, at last!--AINT it?I out with a Yesm before I thought. androcles withypoll
  • "  Den I swum to de stern uv it en tucka-holt." (c) ifor visszajaro
  • Of course when they got to snoring wehad a long gabble, and I told Jim everything. larine wyciyf
  • Something was a-brewing, sure. tyrone aldn'd

arly someone had far too much time on their hands.  Thankfully, I don't think anyone was duped into following any of the spam links, and honestly, reading through these gave me a much needed laugh.  So, auf wiedersehen, Email Hacker.  Better luck next time.


  1. Okay, that's pretty funny--I mean, I'm sorry! My email got hacked last year, which was awfully annoying, but I don't think the spam emails "I" sent were anywhere near this insane. Nice work, Hacker!

    1. A couple friends of mine said I should let them keep sending out messages...they thought they were pretty funny too. ;)

  2. these are so much better than any spam messages i've ever gotten. i wish all spammers had this much free time.

  3. I was extremely worried when my old email got hacked. It has all my contacts, and even emails from my credit card company. The moment this happened, I checked my credit records at once, to see if someone has started using my credit card. Thankfully, this didn’t happen. And even if it did, I would know instantly because of my credit and identity monitoring. Whew!

    Annie Valdez


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