Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Facebook, Self-Arguments, and Homesick-itis

"Carrie is currently missing: first-week-back-at-college style organization, new pencils, Casa Fiesta with Jenkins, super fast (dangerous) driving with Brianne, Courtney's late night cookies, her phone, a large collection of Disney movies, Max, dinner at her grandma's house (both), Machaela's extremely random visits, the other 3/4 of her wardrobe and the predominantly English-speaking population of Kentucky. Oh yeah, and her husband. Who is working, as per always."

-Facebook; August 24, 2010

The resulting in-head argument:
Self:  You shouldn't be so whiney.  It's pathetic.
Me:  You hush.  I will be whiney if I feel whiney.  I DO miss all those things.
Self:  Do you miss exams?  Or large electric bills?  Or wrong number calls?  
Me:  Well no...
Self:  Then can it.  You don't have it so bad.
Me:  But.  It's not fair.  I get four hours a day with Kyle.  And he's the only reason I'm here.
Self:  What, you didn't WANT to see Europe?
Me:  Well sure, for a VACATION.
Self:  How many people can say they've lived in Germany?
Me:  No one I know.  Which is precisely why I'm not content.  There is no one I know here.
Self:  So make new friends.
Me:  But I like my old one's just fine.
Self:  You don't have to give them up.  Just get MORE.
Me:  Well what about the food.  It's weird.  I just want a freaking chimichanga.  You know.  AMERICAN Mexican.
Self:  Why don't you try out that Italian place downtown?  It looks awesome.  
Me:  What if the menu is in German?  I can't read German!
Self:  Get a pocket dictionary.
Me:  It's heavy.  I don't wanna carry it around.
Self:  It's a POCKET dictionary.  How bad can it be?
Me:  ...
Self:  Just try.
Me:  I've been trying for months.  I just want us to go home.
Self:  Suck it up.  You BOTH can't go home.
Me:  I never asked for this you know.
Self:  Neither did I.  Am I complaining?
Me:  But.  You're the sensible half of my brain.  That doesn't count.
Self:  Sure it does.

Tell me bloggers, what have you to say to that??  Before you answer you should know:  That's not even tapping the surface.  They're still going at it in there.  


  1. i think you can be whiny when you want to! it is awesome that you get to see GERMANY!! I hear it's beautiful! But if i was there for too long, i'd get homesick too. No doubt about it. Also, i'd be scared to go try the italian restaurant. It'd take awhile for me to convince myself to do it. I hope you do though!!! That's adventurous! I think you already are an adventurous person b/c you went off to germany to be w/ the love of your life! i mean, that is daring too!!! So if you can do THAT, surely you can try to eat at new places, even if the menu is in german! :)

    It's ok to whine & be homesick. Just also appreciate what you DO have! & it sounds like you are (at least one part of you!)

  2. I'm pretty sure that's just life... but then again, I've been known to have a few more than two voices going at it in my head.

  3. It's tough to adjust to a new culture. I think it'll take awhile and you'll always miss some American things.

    However, the US will always be there waiting for you, so enjoy Germany while you can. Embrace the German things you can't get at home (like really yummy chocolate!) and try not to compare everything to the US.

    I moved around A LOT when I was a kid (every 2-3 years), from one country to the next - Japan to Italy, Italy to England, etc. I always missed the last place, my friends, the familiarity of "home" and one day my mom gave me the best advice ever:

    When you move on, don't ever look back. Don't dream about your previous "home", don't cry about your lost friends, etc. It'll never be the same - you can never go back. Even if you physically went back, it wouldn't be the same as before. Don't spend you life looking into the past, spend it looking forward. Say goodbye to the old and HELLO to the new and adjust!

    It seems really harsh but it really worked. I've never looked back, I've never let myself cry after moving (beforehand, yes - but after I've arrived at the new place, no), I've never spent time wishing for what was - and I've truly enjoyed EVERY opportunity I've had to move forward.

    I KNOW you can do it!! Just keep your chin up and work hard at blooming where you are planted!!

  4. I have been to Germany for a vacation and found ordering to be pretty simple. You can usually find an English speaker there but get a dictionary and try to memorize a few words. If you are going to eat somewhere, memorize food words and then you are slightly prepared.

  5. You are isolating yourself. Why aren't you making friends? You seem adventurous. Do you not want to make friends because it might start to feel permanent and you'll never get back to the U.S.?

    Here's my suggestions. Get a hobby, like learning to make Mexican food. Have a dinner party with some of Kyle's married army friends from the U.S. and serve Mexican food. They probably miss it, too.

    If you don't get involved you're gonna stay right where you are right now, on the outside. You can't keep your life on hold till you get back to the U.S. It doesn't make a happy newlywed. ;)

  6. First off, yes, I am terrified that if I make new friends, my old ones will too, and then we'll lose each other. But that's not daunting enough to keep me from trying.

    I'd love to have people over for dinner or a movie night or some kind of party, but as we don't have a place of our own that's not really an option right now. :/

    It won't really BE an option until after I've been home and come back, with all our kitchen-y items and the rest of my clothes and a supply of furniture.

  7. Hahaha. I thought someone might say that.

  8. I'm sorry you're struggling lovely, but it will be worth it - and four hours with Kyle is better than nothing right?

    Is there anywhere you could go to learn German? then you could meet people as well as learning to order food :)

    and you wont lose your friends, distance makes the heart grow fonder and I'm sure they miss you as much as you miss them.

    If all else fails, come visit england for a bit :) lol

  9. Wow, now I know what they mean when they say you can't BOTH go home again...

    Chin up, lady. This isn't a permanent state of affairs. And GET YOURSELF A POCKET DICTIONARY.

  10. Speaking of which, you do know I'm in the middle of a bunch of posts on Dublin, right? I happened to notice that that was one of the places you wanted to go and can get a nice preview over at my place...I went in June...

  11. I actually have a pocket dictionary. It's sitting in my apartment back in the states. Right beside the umbrella and jacket I also forgot to bring.

    I'm coming over to see those posts right this second.


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