Saturday, April 10, 2010

The Things We Cannot Think About

Loving a warrior requires a lot of conditioning of the mind.  You have to be able to focus on some things while completely ignoring others.  It's almost like a game.  During separations, you focus on remember the smiles and embraces, and counting the days left until your reunion.  You occupy yourself with unnecessary tasks and hobbies.  On particularly sucky days you remind yourself that this time apart isn't forever, that the health care is free, and that the pay doesn't completely suck.  You tell yourself things that let you get by, and you shut out the stuff that brings you to tears.

You don't think the scary thoughts.  When you tell your friends that "he's training" you don't think about what he's training for.  When you say "he's working" you don't think about the thousand hazards of the job.  And when he mentions deployment...  You do your very best to think of it as just another separation.  You never ever consider the possibility that he might not come home.  If you did, you'd fall apart.  And that's just not an option for a supportive military wife.

Now, before you all jump to the wrong conclusion, no, Kyle isn't going anywhere.  He's staying safely in Germany for the time being, but I am not the only woman in the blogosphere who has a man in the military.  Mrs. P. (of A Little Pink in a World of Camo) recently came face to face with the unthinkable when she lost her husband while he was on his first tour in Afghanistan.

I don't think there are words to describe her experience, but she's making the brave attempt to share it with us anyway.  Her blog has become a symbol of hope and courage even in the face of total despair, and it is my hope that you'll all lend her your support. 

There is a new button over in my sidebar.  It provides a direct link to Mrs. P's fund-raising efforts in honor of her husband.  All proceeds go to help wounded warriors and their families.  The two links below it will introduce you properly to the fundraiser and to the inspirational Mrs. herself.


  1. I read her blog some time ago...

    My besties fiancé is in Germany right now and he's currently doing field training for a job that is most definitely deployable. I know this because my best friend (and ex) had the same job and the same thing happened to him. He was in Afghanistan for about 9 months and I worried every single day about him.

    A part of me is glad M was discharged since everyone lied to him about his job. Though he got the highest job possible, they were going to send him to Iraq as soon as he was back from R&R. I don't know what I would had done if I had to deal with that...

  2. Saw you on another page. Glad I found and read your interesting blog. Look forward to following you here. Have a great day! Cheers!

  3. Oh dear, Carrie. I feel the walls falling in on me. I'm hoping this won't be as bad as I anticipate, but I don't see how that's possible. Especially since I learned Ryan's MO pretty much requires him to be 5-6 miles from where the action is, which is 5,000 - 6,000 miles away from me.

  4. Marie: I think that's a common conundrum. I know that this is Kyle's dream...and I want him to succeed. But if he were ever discharged... Part of me would be jumping for joy.

    Lazaro: Hello there! Welcome. :)

    Courtney Paige, you CAN do this. And whether you think so or not, you WILL. You will NOT succumb to unending depression, and you wil NOT let yourself get sucked into that looming black hole of gloom. I forbid it.

    One pint of ice cream wallowing per week is all you're allowed missy. It's going to be okay. And focus on that 5-6 miles away...that's a definite upside. Worry about the 5000-6000 when you have to.

  5. Great opening paragraph. I think you could expand it to "loving a warrior."

  6. Rae: I think you're right. That should be expanded. (Check back in approx. five minutes for that change. ;) )


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