Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Progression

I was reading through some of my old posts, and honestly I don't even feel like I wrote them.  So much has happened.  So much has changed.  If I start at the beginning and work my way forward, from December of 2008 until now, I can literally watch my attitude evolve.

When I began this blog, dealing with the Army was only a vague possibility, and now it's...it's just life.  It's routine.  When Kyle first went away, I thought being happy was over, and then that thought transformed into "happy would be postponed,"  and now I think I am happy.  Sure, some days hurt, and some are harder than others, but that doesn't stop me from being me.  Life goes on, one day at a time, and each moment has the potential to be better than the last.

I also see how blind faith and determination to make things work took over.  It was like I went into auto-pilot mode.  Hope kept me going when I'd rather have stayed put.

But, heaven help me, I can see the evolution of my writing too.  I mean, do you REMEMBER some of those early posts??  What on earth was I thinking?  Thank God for patient readers.  ;)  Take this story from last May for example.  Sure, it's decent, but at the time it was my best, and now I think it's far below par.  Now, I would say the story I posted yesterday is my best, but I wonder if I'll still be proud of it this time next year...  Who knows who I'll be, or what my writing will be like, then?  I know I certainly don't.

I think the most shocking change of all has taken place in this blog itself.  In December of 2008 this page was completely unrecognizable from what it is today.  It was a two column minima template with a black background and orange text, NOTHING in the sidebar, a header made on photobucket.com from an image of a pile of carrots, a following of 1, and some very poor poetry.  Any of you guys been around long enough that you remember that Dark Age of [carrotspeak.]??  (The poetry is still there, if you insist upon seeing it.)  I mean really. I didn't even know how to enable comments when I first started this little project.

And now?  Now I have a self-customized layout, pretty carrot-buttons with corresponding pages, 749 followers, more beautiful awards than I care to count, my own meme, a book club, and a even a facebook group.  The only things that haven't changed are the name "carrotspeak" and the fact that 90% of my posts have something to do with my relationship.

How did all of that happen in less than two years?  How did I go from being a terrified freshman with webpage and a broken heart, to a self-confident writer with an adventure in store?  I really don't know.   I guess it's all a by-product of that thing they call "growing up."  All I know for sure, is that I'm glad it happened, and I'm glad you guys were here for more of the Carrotian-Renaissance than the Dark Age.  I hope you're all still around in the months to come...  Maybe we'll embark upon a Golden Age together.

PS -- Speaking of the book club, the polls for May's selection are up!  Get your votes in by April 30th!  We're also accepting guest post/book reveiws this month, if anyone is interested.  More details on the book club blog.

PPS -- Don't forget about Shoes for Samantha!  You guys have been great about spreading the word, but the work isn't over yet!  With you're help, Rachel's facebook fan page for the organization has reached 200 fans!  That's wonderful, but we still need more.  The challenge was 300, guys, and I know you can do it!  :)

14 comments:

  1. Carrie, I remember those early posts ... I could sense you were a passionate, gifted young writer with something to say. It has been an honour and privilege to watch your growth as an artist and as a woman.

    My favourite line of your post: 'I thought being happy was over, and then that thought transformed into "happy would be postponed," and now I think I am happy'.

    You have learned one of life's most important lesson; that happiness lives inside you - not externally. I love that you are living each day fully in the time leading up to your marriage. I am like a proud mother hen ... cluck cluck! Hugs. Lyn XXOO

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  2. life, sweetie, that's what happened.

    and you are doing exactly what you're supposed to be doing...learning and growing into a beautiful soul. more beautiful than you already were to begin with. awww...

    congrats on your growth and happiness!

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  3. Lyn: I actually thought of you as I typed that. You've been right all along. It just takes me a while to catch up. ;)

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  4. it's nice the way things work out when you don't think they will.

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  5. lovely blog. and I love most of the books on your list. very good taste in books. :)

    Nicole
    http://lettersfromcoco.blogspot.com/

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  6. I've found your blog by chance but I'll be back often to see what you've been up to. I'm so glad things are looking up for you now. Know that there are only better times ahead. I hope you are having a wonderful day. Blessings...Mary

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  7. I'm so happy I found your blog. It's one that has made me blog better. (at least in my mind I do) There's something big going on out there. The old saying "it takes a village to raise a child" can be applied. More closely it's "it takes a village to raise up." When reading different blogs people are always amazed when they post a problem and all the replies are helpful. It's a continual reaffirmation in the human spirit. If you ask, people will help. So, thanks Carrie, for raising me up.

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  8. Julie: It evens out. I take advice from you on a near daily basis. ;)

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  9. You have not only made major progression but you've always been so good to share with the rest of us your "tricks and secrets of the trade". I have been blogging for only a few months less than you and I only have 61 followers....just look at you girl! Nicely done.

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  10. Zen Mama:

    First, I owe the size of my following almost entirely to becoming a BoN. If it had not been for that, I think we'd be on exactly the same track. My following prior to being posted on the blogger homepage was somewhere around 40. ;) Your blog is certainly every bit as well written and intriguing as my own. I'd even say it's more so.

    Second, thank you very much. :)

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  11. Carrie, I really wish I had been here from the beginning now - Its amazing what you can do with a blog in a short amount of time - I cant wait to see where we are next year :)

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  12. Rhianne: Most of what happened with my blog was sheer dumb luck. I stumbled across the blogger help sites on other people's blogs. The BoN award got me my audience. ...I wouldn't be here without help from dozens of people. Still. If this year is as fortunate as next, it should be interesting. ;)

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