Thursday, April 22, 2010

Little Letters

Dearest Max the Cat,

I love you terribly.  I do.  But if you randomly bite my hand while I'm petting you one. more. time...  I'll have to do something atrocious.  Like lock you in the closet beneath the stairs.   Until, of course, some giant man breaks down my front door and tells you about your real parents and whisks you away to... 

I'm losing focus here.

The point is, when you're receiving one of those ear-scratchings you love so much, don't bite me.  It discourages the ear-scratching. 



Dear Dishes,

Could you please do one of those Beauty and the Beast things where you jump into the sink and wash yourselves?  Please?

Wishfully yours,


Dear Friend-Who-Shall-Remain-Nameless,

You should just go for it already

Best wishes,
Your Girlfriend-Related-Advice Giver


Dear Stupid Junkheap Car of Mine,

I take personally your decision not to start and leave me stranded on campus yesterday.  Just so you know.  You're not getting vacuumed for a very long time as punishment. 

(Maybe also because I hate vacuuming you.)

Annoyed but forgiving,


Dear Tranquil Mammoth,

In case you were wondering (not that you're reading) the links were inspired by you.

With admiration,
Fellow Blogger/Fan


  1. Haha, I punish my car by not cleaning it out as well! Hope those dishes clean themselves!

  2. these were awesome. if you find a way to get your dishes to clean themselves, let me know!

  3. As I was brushing my teeth this morning, I remembered, you were stranded yesterday and asked for jumper cables. I forgot to tell Ryan. I'm sorry. :( Do you still need them?

  4. Oh, and if your dishes decide not to do themselves, I happen to know someone who's good at washing if you don't mind drying & putting away. :)

  5. Haha! Love the note to your dishes. Don't we all wish we could Lumiere to run the show now and again?

  6. I love this! :) It cracks me up. If only the Beauty and the Beast thing would really come true... *sighs..*

    Thank you! I have been out of the loop lately. This whole pregnant thing has made me so tired. I come home and sleep. I have been feeling more energetic lately! I can't wait to get out and travel more! :D

    I hope you are doing well!!


  7. Courtney: My dad's coming over tonight to help me get my ridiculous car home. It's cool.

    Everyone: If I track down Lumiere you'd better bet I'll ship him to each of you guys in turn.

    Heather: I'm glad to hear you (plus baby) are doing well. :) Things are fine here. Same ol' song and dance. ;)

  8. My husband's car was repeatedly kicked and screamed at the other night and threatened with being traded in after stopping at an intersection. i regularly threaten my cars with trade ins when they act up on me :)

  9. I had to watch that it

  10. Haha!! I can so relate. Especially, to the first two. If you can figure out how to get your cat or the dishes to listen, please let me know. :)

  11. Robyn, maybe that would work better on my car...

    Jessica, will do. ;)


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