When I am in classes, I am totally in my element in a way that cannot be compared to anything else. It isn't like the niche awaiting me in Germany. It is different, because this place is for me. When I walk down these sidewalks, I am confident and sure of my abilities. I am no one's inferior, and no one's enemy. There is nothing for me to fear. Sure, college has its challenges, but I have never had a problem with rising to meet them. Honestly, the only reason I am so sick of it is because I've started to resent that it is one of the many things keeping me tethered here in the states. And online school? We all know it just isn't the same experience. There is so much you miss when you're out of the classroom environment.
So today was a bittersweet day. It is the beginning of the end of something I used to love. ...still do love, in some respects. I walked into my classrooms and evaluated the students around me. I studied their faces and wondered which of us would remember each other. I wondered which of us would still remain in attendence at the end of the semester. I wondered if anyone else was preparing to leave this part of their life behind. Am I the only one so close to moving on? Doubtful. But it sometimes feels that way.
I savored this last first day. I relished each moment of confidence and belonging. Yet as much as I love this, I know I will never regret my decision to leave. I am not giving up, just exchanging an old dream for a new adventure. Besides, when I finally make it back across that 4,400 mile gap, it will be a whole new first. I will be back to square one...
I know a lot of you tagged me for awards that I haven't accepted yet. I had the links copied in a draft I accidentally deleted. If you are one of these bloggers, please email me a link to the award so I can make up a new acceptance post. Sorry, guys, and thanks in advance.
Also, I completely forgot to announce my give-away winner! Sarita, dear, you won the drawing. :) Please email me your address so I can get your gift shipped ASAP. I am SO sorry I didn't inform you sooner.