Finally I have a set date to offer.
Finally my countdown means something.
Finally I know I'll get to leave.
Finally I can really look forward to Christmas break...
If everything goes according to plan, I'll arrive there on the 28th of December for about a week-long visit. I could not be any happier about this. It will have been exactly three months since we've seen each other, and while that doesn't really sound like a long time, I assure you that I've felt each day of it with the same impact as I'd feel a year when we're together.
It feels like it's been forever, but it also feels like it flew by. ...like things were happening without my notice. Like I'm waking up from the longest, deepest sleep to find that life has gone on without me. Like I need to catch up fast so that I'll be ready when the time comes to leave. Like it was yesterday that we had to say goodbye, and yesterday that I began an emotional hibernation. But it also feels like yesterday was ages ago.
It is a contradiction, I know, but that's just how it feels.
But that feeling isn't really important. It's fleeting. The pain and disorientation is only temporary. In the end it is replaced by something much greater. This other feeling is contained in that first glimpse of each other after so long. It's full of all the smiles and laughs we've missed, saturated with the longing and the love, fueled by faith and patience, and punctuated by sweet, quiet relief. It comes with the first easy breath in a long time, the first one I don't have to think about, and I'd almost swear that everything else stops for that one glorious moment.
It kind of feels like this:
It is an incredible feeling, and it is coming in just 27 more days. :)
[images via sabino]