I miss having you by my side when I'm out with friends. I miss the way I'd sometimes catch your eye and know we were both thinking the same thing. I miss the way you'd find little ways to let me know you were paying attention to me, too, when we were surrounded by others: a quick kiss on the cheek, a squeeze of my hand, or a message whispered in my ear.
I miss you when I wake up at night. Sometimes I even roll over, expecting to find you, and then remember that you're gone. I dream about you often, and sometimes I don't want to wake up from those dreams. My alarm sounds in the morning and jars me back into reality where, occasionally, I shed a few tears.
I constantly remind myself that there are only eight short months (approximately) left of this separation. I repeat it in my head like a mantra, hoping it will make me feel better. Most of the time it works. When it doesn't, I remember that the time we'll spend together outnumbers the time we're spending apart by far. I think about the future. I plan our wedding day. I decide what things I'll be taking to Germany when I come to you. Somehow, I make it through those tough days.
I love you more than I ever have before, but not as much as I someday will, as unfathomable as that is to me. But it has to be that way, I know, because a year ago I thought I loved you more than was possible, and yesterday I didn't think my heart could hold any more love. I guess I was wrong both times, and I know someday I'll look back and laugh at how I feel now.
Eight months, love. Eight more months. We've come so very far when no one thought we would. Look at us; we're showing them all. :)
Now I'm going to go and do some homework (while I remind myself I'm doing it to make you proud), and then I'll do some housework (which I consider good practice for when we're married), and after that I'll go to sleep (with the hope that you will call me at 2:00am so that I can hear your voice).
Yours forever and for always,
PS -- You really are my hero. You know that, right?