Monday, November 23, 2009

Dear Future Baby,

I am positively longing for the day I get to hold you in my arms.  I watch other mothers and I press my hand to my unoccupied stomach and wish that you were in the world.  I want to experience everything about you.  I want to comfort you when you cry, laugh with you when you're happy, and support you in your goals.  I want to sit up with you when you're sick, and take you to school in the mornings, and bake you cupcakes for your birthdays.  You are going to be the most incredible blessing.

I want to watch you learn to walk and talk and read and explore.  I want to watch you discover your passions and dreams.  I want to watch you become a person completely independent of me.  I will rejoice and mourn in equal parts when that happens. I'll cringe when you get your driver's permit, and make your father take you out to practice as to avoid my inevitable panicking when you miss a stop sign.  And I can't wait to see you learn to love.

I hope you have his freckles and good luck and beautiful eyes...and perhaps a small portion of me.  Maybe my love of words and aversion to the military.  That would be nice.  I'd hate to have to miss you too.  I don't think I could handle worrying this much twice in one lifetime.  I hope my cooking has improved by the time you can eat solid food, and that bedtime stories are a good thing, because I'm really looking forward to telling them to you.

I can't wait to meet you, but I will wait, as patiently as possible, because I already love you enough to readily admit that I'm not at all ready for you.  I'm going to have to do quite a bit of growing first.  And besides, I want you to grow up in the midst of the very large family that will love you more than you'll ever know.  That can't happen if you come to me while I'm a whole ocean away from home.

I can feel you though.  I know that you exist in some future world I haven't reached yet.  I can practically hear your laugh and see your smile.  And I know you're coming, someday.  It will probably feel like the time flew when it gets here.

So...I'll see you soon enough, Sweetie.

All my love,
Your Someday Mom

23 comments:

  1. Something beautiful that your someday baby will enjoy -- some day! : )

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  2. When I saw the opening line for this I got all excited because I thought you were pregnant!
    This is so beautiful.
    Like you, I never thought I'd want a huge family or to be a young mother and a boy just turned that idea right around. As much as you want it now, you're definitely right when you say you're not at all ready. Girl you just got your apartment! (congrats on that btw!) But when you are, you'll join the club of super adorable families =]
    Stay strong,
    Lexa

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  3. Lyn, yes, I do plan on actually copying these into something for my someday munchkin. :)

    Lexa, no worries there. Lol. Not for a LONG time. But still. It's fun to think about. ;)

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  4. Carrie, this is exactly how I feel, too. I think I might be a little closer to ready, but I'm still not there either.

    The biggest relief and burden is, my partner is patiently waiting for me to say when.

    I'm so glad you are in my life. Even if you will be an ocean and a few countries away, I know when I'm ready you'll be there for me, as I will be for you.

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  5. Courtney, dear, I'd say you're a few miles ahead of me in terms of readiness. Lol. But I'm glad to have you too. :) It's kind of great having someone around that knows the way I think as well as you do.

    And of course I'll be there for you. :) Even if it has to be via webcam. :/

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  6. awwww a little carrot stick! have you picked out names yet? and as for the cooking.....dont force em to eat their cake :P

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  7. Jon, I didn't force you to eat it. I said you could fricken take it with you. Don't start. Lol.

    And I've been planning names since middle school. I think that's a girl thing. ;)

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  8. Oh Carrie, this is just so heartfelt and beautiful :) and what would be these names?

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  9. Thanks, Sophia. :)

    Olivia Paige for a girl, and Michael Evan for a boy. :) [Those are subject to change.]

    My second choices are Jesalee Claire and Matthew Thomas.

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  10. Beautiful. It looks like your kid won't be lacking love!

    Now you're making me impatient for kids! lol But that'll be some years from now. I don't even have a boyfriend yet!

    I'm also curious to hear the names you're thinking of.

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  11. Sarita, I think we posted our responses at the same time. Lol. Look above. ;)

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  12. Heartfelt, lyrical, and otherwise beautiful. Well done, this is a more touching and sincere invocation than Bob Dylan's "Forever Young." And that's saying something. I like it. I hope the kid gets to read this someday. Hopefully with a box of tissues handy.

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  13. Postman, thanks so much. :) I hope they read it when they're old enough to understand it, and not before. I'm thinking of making it their graduation gift...

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  14. You're welcome.

    Graduation?! Oh boy, are you TRYING to make them break down in tears in front of their friends? Are you going to be one of THOSE moms?

    Heh heh. Do it. And take pictures.

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  15. Hahaha. No, that wasn't the intention. I wouldn't give it to them AT graduation. Lol.

    That certainly is an idea though... ;)

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  16. I totally know what you mean, but I realize that I only want a baby to play with. I'm not at all ready for the crying, diapers, feeding, etc. One day ...

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  17. leni, I think those things I could handle. It's the psychological side of it that I'm not ready for. I mean, how does one ensure that their child grows up a moral person? And my religious beliefs are jumbled and confusing right now. I wouldn't want to dump that kind of frustration on my child either. I want to be a little more grounded in my beliefs when I have my baby...so that I know I'm passing onto them what I truly have faith in.

    It's more the how-to-make-sure-my-kid-isn't-going-to-be-crazy aspect that makes me nervous.

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  18. I think one day, you will a very lovely and caring mommy!

    loves

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  19. hey carrie, i just love the stuff on yr blog! and this one is so me! i'm looking forward for a baby and i want to do all those things that you have so beautifully expressed. i'm married for six long years and evry year, evry month i look for signs of a baby....but i know my baby is somewhere out there...

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  20. Serena, thank you so much! :) My fingers are crossed that your baby finds its way to you soon. Best wishes, dear.

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