Thursday, October 29, 2009

Old Neilson Revisited

My readers who have been around for a while will remember this post, but for all of you who arrived with the Blog of Note crowd Neilson is a new character that will require an introduction.  You see, I was bored one day and the post in the link above was what came of it.  I wouldn't quite call it a story.  It's just a snippet of someone's life.  Below is another such snippet.  I hope you enjoy it, and I'm anxious to read your responses.  :)

Outside the air was dank and damp. It felt as though fat water droplets were hovering in air too saturated for them to fall through. The sun fought to emerge, but couldn't quite seem to burst through the heavy fog. Bradley hung the gas pump back up, screwed the cap back on the truck's fuel tank, and reopened the cap to grab his wallet.

"I come, Daddy!" his two year old daughter shrieked from the passenger seat. "I come too! I come too!"

He sighed, unbuckled her, and swept her up onto his shoulders. She squealed in delight. Inside the gas station old Neilson, the attendant, was scratching the silver paint off of a lottery ticket.

"Winning anything?" Bradley asked with a grin, slapping a twenty on the counter for the gas.

"Oh," Neilson was startled to find someone waiting. "Fifty cents." He chuckled.

"Does the wife know you're still buying those?"

"Ah, what she doesn't know won't do any harm." The whole town knew how Karen felt about Neilson's lottery tickets. Anytime she caught him with a scratch off she launched into an all too familiar speech about the importance of what she called "responsible finances." Neilson counted out the change and held it out to the other man.

"Dollars? Daddy, I have dollars?" the little girl asked. Neilson raised an eyebrow at Bradley.

Her father sighed. "Sure, sweetie, you can have the dollars." Neilson handed two bills to the little girl, the change to her father. "Have a good one, Neilson."

"Yeah, you too," the old man replied as Bradley turned to leave. "And, Brad?" he halted him, "Don't mention it to Karen, alright?"

"Sure thing, Neilson. Are you gonna wave 'bye-bye' Kenzie?" The little girl shook her hand vigorously at the old man.

Neilson watched as the man walked back across the parking lot with his daughter. When they were half way back, a blond woman Neilson didn't recognize stopped Bradley to talk, looking wistfully at his daughter. Before she left she leaned up on her tip-toes to kiss his cheek, letting her lips linger just a little too long. Kenzie waved 'bye-bye' then, and the adults parted ways.

Neilson wondered if Kenzie was old enough to keep a secret.

14 comments:

  1. Another intriguing glimpse into the life of the old gas station attendant. Your ability to create realistic characters out of thin air and give them life in just a few sentences is astounding. I hope you go somewhere with this, I really do...

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  2. I love this! :] You are truly an awesome writer!

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  3. Postman: At first I didn't think this would go anywhere at all, but I'm finding that I LOVE writing about little old Neilson. He's got an intriguing way of seeing things...

    Thanks so very much for the compliments. I can't tell you how much those mean to me. :)

    Catherine: Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked it. :)

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  4. My mom is talking to her mom on the phone right next to me. You know how my mom only has 2 volumes: loud and LOUDER. She's talking about the skin cancer the doctor found on her face. It's my mom, so I do care and want to listen in...

    And yet, this little piece had me completely tuning her out by the end. I want to know about Neilson and his perceptive nature. :)

    I can't wait 'til you start selling your work and making tons of monies. Ooh, I'm going to start working on my Birthday/Christmas wish list for when that happens.

    Enough silliness, you're amazing. Keep writing. :) No matter if you move to Guatemala, stop going to school, and have 9 kids. Keep writing.

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  5. Nine kids? I should kick you just for thinking that! ;)

    And there's no need to fear my ever stopping writing. I'll still be writing even if I somehow lose both my hands. I'd just hire someone to take down what I dictate...

    About the tons of monies...I'm dreaming of those days. I can't even imagine how wonderful it would be to be paid to do something I love so much. :)

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  6. So how many posts have you done on Old Neilson???? Bravo Carrie !

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  7. This makes my second. The link at the beginning goes to the first.

    Thanks. :)

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  8. Are you doing NaNoWriMo this year (or even know what it is)? Basically, you write an entire novel during the month of November. My November is super-busy, but I'm excited to attempt it anyway. Here is their website if you want more info: http://www.nanowrimo.org/

    -Ashley

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  9. Ashley: I'd never heard of that before, but I'll be sure to check it out. It sounds like fun! Thanks for the tip! :)

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  10. It's totally crazy, but it should be a lot of fun! Basically you just write and write like a crazy person--you go for quantity, not quality. At the end of the month, if you make it, you'll have written a 50,000 word novel, which is quite an accomplishment, even if it's total crap because you wrote it so fast (which most of it likely won't be--if you write that fast, characters and plots start doing crazy new and interesting things you wouldn't have expected). It's an great way for all of us who keep saying we'll write a novel to actually do it, and to know that there are like 150,000 other crazy people doing the same thing.

    -Ashley
    http://fun-on-a-bun.blogspot.com/

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  11. With writing like this, you'll be making lots of "dollars" in no time!

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  12. dang miss writer. you are good! i need more! i'm officially sucked in.

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  13. Wow, really keep writing about his life. =) I love it.

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